Kowalski Must Never Know
by Nachtgeschichte
Summary: Kowalski's game of deception ends up because of a rumour. When the cards are on the table will Skipper play them right? My version of Driven to the Brink. (Pre)Slash: Kowalski/Skipper (Skipkow, Kipper, KowalSkip, SkiSki).
1. This Little Game We Play

A/N: Action takes place during the time of the episode _Driven to the brink _(Season 2, episode 25). It's advisable to watch the episode before reading this fanfic. The title of this chapter is taken from a song, with the same title by 702.

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**Chapter I - The Little Game We Play**

~3rd person POV~

After the car challenge to navigate around the zoo in clockwise direction hadn't gone according to the plan, the car was brought back to the garage. The vehicle seemed to be overheated and Rico was ordered to cool it by any means. Private decided to help him. The Brit wanted to talk to the car and convince it not to attack Rico anymore.

In the main room, Skipper peeked at his lieutenant from behind the folder he was holding as the latter was doing himself up in front of the pink plastic hand mirror for over an hour. Seriously, there were only the make-up and eyeliner needed and Skipper would think that he had got a girl in his team. Even Julien didn't take so much time. The boss cleaned his throat to remind Kowalski about his presence. The scientist stopped the activity and stood up, turning to his leader.

"Asking for permission to leave the base."

"If you're about to hit on Doris AGAIN, I'm feeling obligated to remind you..."

"I know Skipper. No need to say it out loud AGAIN." Kowalski shifted impatiently, this conversation was really unnecessary.

Skipper glared for a moment at the other penguin and looked back into the folder, "Granted. Looking splendid.", he smirked.

Kowalski climbed quickly up the ladder, grateful that Skipper was busy with the folder and hadn't noticed his light blush. Inhaling the fresh air, the scientist left the penguin habitat and slowly headed towards the aquarium.

~Kowalski's POV~

_Why am I doing this to myself? This cover is ridiculous. Pretending that I'm interested in Doris to gain his attention. Putting a show by sitting around for an hour and seventeen minutes just to get a sarcastic remark...or it wasn't a sarcasm, was it? Nine times out of ten Skipper's remarks are mockery, especially when they are directed towards me. It has an injurious effect on me and still...nah! Even thinking about emotions is really not my strong side. I don't want to imagine what would happen if Skipper learnt the truth...relax Kowalski, you're going to chit-chat with Doris for a while, come back home in despair and sob your heart out, because the one whom you cherish doesn't share the same feeling. Heh, true reason, wrong target. It's all wrong! No one falls for their friend... especially when the friend is a higher rank._

My effusive interior monologue was manifested by frowns and wing swings. I had used to talk to myself but stopped after almost giving all away in the unexpected presence of Private. The young penguin's viewpoint and innocence could fall down and I didn't want it to happen. I sighed and entered the dolphin aquarium.

~Skipper's POV~

Few seconds after Kowalski had taken his leave, I sprang to my feet, reached out for the pair of binoculars and exited the base by sliding through the secret passage. I didn't want to use the main entrance, because Kowalski could see me. It turned out later that I worried unnecessary since the 'genius' hadn't paid any attention to his surroundings. I went after my soldier to the aquarium.

_I'm in. So far so good. Won't hear much but there aren't any hideaways in front of Doris's pool to come nearer to Kowalski. The egghead looked as if he served in the Charge of the Light Brigade on the way here. Now he's acting natural. Bad strategy, tall boy. No one would put up with you like that, 'course I do but you're my solace...I mean soldier!_

The time passed and I got the impression that something was wrong, very wrong. Doris didn't shoo Kowalski away, the penguin didn't cry or yell at her. Maybe this time he succeeded? "Yes, and tanks can transform into planes.", I mumbled to myself. After few minutes, Kowalski said goodbye to Doris and, with a smile on his beak, headed back to the base.

"What in the name of walrus fang is going on here?!", this time I said it louder which attracted the dolphin's attention. My spy action was a failure, luckily Kowalski had already left the aquarium. "Why hello handsome. Are ya watchin' meh?", Doris's high voice together with her Brooklyn accent was disturbing and raised my anger even more. I didn't understand how Kowalski could fall for a creature like her. "No, have you just accepted him?", I moved to the essence of the whole affair. "Whom? Kowalski? Hell no, we're just friends. He's not my type. But I'm single, ya see an' willin' ta meet wit' a betta penguin, if ya kno wat I mean~", to stress her words the dolphin waved with her tail temptingly. I scolded myself in my mind for being so careless on a mission. Deciding that the best I could do would be a good and quick retreat, I waved my flippers in circles at her: "You didn't see anything, got it miss?" and I slid away.


	2. Rumour Has It

A/N: Clueless Private, jealous Marlene, cornered Skipper, hurt Kowalski and amused Rico. Title: _Rumour has it_ by Adele

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**Chapter 2 – Rumour has it**

~Private's POV~

_Sundays are my favourite days. The training is always short and after it we have all the time in the world to do as we please, well as long as Kowalski isn't eager to test a new invention. But I don't mind! He seems so happy while doing it. He always waits for Skipper's opinion and is over the moon when he prises him...which is quite rare. I know that most of Kowalski's inventions are good, it's just the fault of...bad luck, I guess. I don't like his 'scientist mood'...he's rude then. But he's nice when he spends time with us and doesn't think about science or Doris. Yesterday, Kowalski was quite depressed because of her. I was worrying about him the whole evening, couldn't sleep at night. I thought that Skipper was anxious too, since I heard him tossing and turning in his bunk. But before Rico burst into the H.Q, Skipper had mumbled in his dream. It went like this: "No Doris...Kowalski must never know." I don't know what this means. Maybe Marlene can help me._

I was thinking about this all while entering Marlene's habitat. " 'ello Marlene!", I greeted her, noticing that she was still in her bed, "Are you alright?" "Yes, I just had a bad night because of your night race." She sulked and sat up. "Oh, I'm sorry, Marlene. It wasn't a race, more a fight...penguins against a haunted car, sort of..." I giggled a little and told her the story. She joined me and we laughed for a good while. As we stopped, I moved to the topic of Skipper's sleep talk. Marlene frowned and jumped out of her bed.

"So, it's true! I can't believe he's doing that to him!"

"Doing what? I beg your pardon...but I'm not following you."

I looked confused at Marlene as she paced up and down the length of her cave. "Julien told me that Maurice talked to the chimps. They heard Shelly telling Pinky that she chatted with Doris. She said that Skipper has his eye on her! I didn't believe it at first but now everything makes sense!"

"...who told whom?"

"Private!"

"What? I got lost!"

"Okay, it's not important. What counts is that this news is confirmed. Skipper wants to snake Kowalski's girlfriend."

"Snake her...like throw her to the terrarium?"

"No! Like take her away from Kowalski."

"Well, Doris and K'walski aren't really a couple..."

"But she's Kowalski's crush and Skipper is..." Marlene stopped in the middle of the sentence. She wanted to say that Skipper is her crush but it was better that no one would know it. "...he's an idiot. We have to handle. Where are the penguins now?"

"Skippah and Rico are playing card games and K'walski is finalising his new invention in the laboratory."

"Come on!" She cried and dragged me by the flipper to my habitat.

~Skipper's POV~

I was winning at Canasta Rummy against Rico, looking at the door of the lab from time to time. Kowalski should leave that musty room and spend some time with me...us. Then, the fishbowl moved, Marlene and Private came in.

"Good idea, Private. Marlene can join us.", I smirked but noticing Marlene's rage the smirk faded away. "What's wrong?"  
"What's wrong! You're asking what's wrong! You'd tell us what's wrong with you! Betraying Kowalski! Your best friend!" She got furious. I got up and came up to her.

"Stop yelling and don't throw meat at me. I would never-"

"You have an affair with Doris!"

I heard Private's gulp and Rico's prolonged "Uuuuuu..." sound.

"What the heck?! I have never even talked to that dolphin."

"You did yesterday." Marlene hissed.

"And you dream about her..." Private added quietly but after my glare he hid behind the otter. My own soldier! He would feel my wrath later. But until that I needed to come up with an excuse.

"It was a mission and its aim and details are-"

"That you shit on your friendship. What kind of friend, leader, penguin are you?!"

„-classified.", I finished my sentence. Marlene sighed and I thought that she was gathering more energy for another blow.

However, the blow didn't come from her but from the side of the lab. The door burst open and Kowalski came out, holding a horn-a-like thing. "I finalized the ear-dropper.", he's voice was shaking. I couldn't read much from his expression.

"What does it do, K'walski?"

"Allows to listen to conversations behind solid walls, eavesdropping, goes like clockwork...I have just tested it. Now, all of you leave me alone with Skipper..."


	3. Two Pieces Of Drama

A/N: Cunning salmon and attention trout. Title: _Two Pieces Of Drama_ by Everlast

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**Chapter 3 – Two Pieces Of Drama**

~Skipper's POV~

The expression that Marlene had been throwing meat at me was metaphorical. The fact that Kowalski attacked me with play cards was, apparently, literal. Kowalski had put aside the Ear-Dropper and jumped towards me. I hit the dirt but he reached for the cards and kept sending them in my direction. Considering that there were two decks of cards on the table I knew it would end with some unpleasant cuts on my body. "Stop it, soldier. You're passing on a frontal attack on your commanding officer."

"I don't care!" he increased the frequency. I could simply duck and wait but I had to calm him down. I took the line of least resistance: "Key..."

~Kowalski's POV~

_It can't be. Skipper haven't called me like that since he became the commander. I thought he had forgotten about it. I know he said it just to stop me but still...the memories of our army training ar_e _flashing in front of me. The moment I saw him, our first mission, my life choice to join him. But for him I wouldn't be here now, I wouldn't be in the army at all. He drags me through life...I do feel homesick quit_e _often_ _but I don't regret being always by his side._

I was caught dumbfounded, holding Six of Hearts in my left flipper and gaping at Skipper. Gaining my full attention, he cleaned his throat: "Whatever they are implying I would never make my way to hurt you on purpose."

_Some scratches. It wasn't my purpose to hurt him either...I imagined him in her arms. Is it jealousy? I should bandage him up. No Kowalski! You're still mad. But it's so hard to be angry at him..._

"So, you and Doris do-" I needed to know for sure.

"No, I'm not interested in her."

"But you were-"

"Yes, I was in the aquarium."

"Why?" It was a simple question but I saw that it caused Skipper a lot of troubles. He didn't have or didn't want to give the answer. Suddenly, he smirked: "It's pointless to go deeper into the matter. Besides, you aren't interested in her either."

"What?!" I was mixed up. It always turned up like this, Skipper moving from the defence into attack position. That cunning salmon.

"Everyone knows you're an attention trout, no need to add drama to that. The whole team is already concerned about you, maybe except for Rico. But he doesn't worry about anything. The point is that you don't have to pretend to be broken-hearted."

One side of me felt the urge to scream at him that I wasn't pretending and that he took the blame for it. But, as usual, the rationality won and I just nodded to show understanding.

"Good. Now come. It's dinner time." Skipper approached me took the card from my flipper and lightly patted my shoulder. I followed him up to the artificial isle.

~During Kowalski's rage in the H.Q, Rico, Marlene and Private were gathered on the artificial ice floe; Private's POV~

Marlene was diving in the pool to see something through the windows of our base. After a minute she jumped back to the island. "You should really clean your windows from time to time, guys."

"We clean them. Kowalski's invention. You see through them in the base but not outside...one side windows, I guess."

"Kowalski this, Kowalski that!" She mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Marlene. 'bout Skippah and Doris..."

"Huh? Why are you sorry?"

"I'm an expert in love, Marlene. I watch soap operas."

"If you're such an expert then you could help me drag Skipper away from the bottlenose."

"Sounds like a mission!" I got enthusiastic. I was not the only one since Rico gave a shout of joy. We came up with a very simple plan. My task was to bring Kowalski and Doris together. In the mean time Marlene and Rico would take care of Skipper, so he would fall for the otter. I was sure the plan would work. They were the dream couples. I just had to make Kowalski go to the aquarium.

_Uhm...he was there yesterday. Maybe I can say he dropped something there and...I just could simply bring it back to him...no. What can he do? He's good at helping, inventing and fixing. I know!_

~Kowalski's POV~

We were up right in time to prevent Rico from eating our fish. After the dinner I really didn't know what should I do with myself. I recalled that I had to test my new invention outside but neither was the Ear-Dropper on its place, nor was anyone in sight. Where did Skipper and Rico go?


	4. Catch Me If You Can

A/N: Hide and seek. Title: _Catch Me If You Can_ by Matt Pokora

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**Chapter 4 - Catch Me If You Can**

~Skipper's POV~

_So...Rico leads me to Marlene's habitat, claiming that she needs my help. A moment ago she showed me the rage of hell and now...something is fishy...bad fishy._

~Kowalski's POV~

Still standing on the artificial island I noticed that Private was rushing towards me.

"A leak at Doris's! Please, please, help, K'walski!" I was about to answer that Alice must have already seen it and called for GUS but before I was able to open my beak he attacked me with his puppy eyes and I had to give in.

_Seriously, no one can resist Private's power of persuasion. Maybe if I ask him, he will teach me some of his techniques?_

When we came to the aquarium, we witnessed a small leak, a middle-sized paddle of water and a big panic of one dolphin. I jumped on the barrier, Private was next to me.

"Could you try to calm her down, Private?"

"Me? Why me?!"

"You're good at it. I need to think." He glared at me but I decided to ignore it. However, I couldn't stay blind to the fact that the hole in the pool wasn't at a point of contact. "It didn't happen by itself..." Accident or sabotage? Skipper would bet his flipper on the second option. But who and why? I took a look around, every zooster could have done it.

Diving, I estimated the state of the damage. The hole wasn't big but the pressure of the escaping water was so high that in a second my body was drawn in by it and I found my beak in the hole. The good thing – the water stopped pouring, the bad thing – I couldn't breathe. Failing in freeing myself, I tried to call for help but only mumbles were audible. Then, I felt being pulled and lifted up.

"Roger?" I coughed up the excess of water.

"Hello. I was just passing by. Actually, I live here and saw you and thought that it's not right what you do..."

"Yeah, I should try from the other side."

"No! I mean...no. It's not about the leak that Private did. I mean partly yes, because in my opinion your plan to win Doris's heart by destroying her pool is...wrong...don't feel offended, please, but I see it like that."

"Wait what?!" Too much information for me. Private did the sabotage? But why? I hadn't asked for it!

"I know there is an unwritten rule that a man doesn't...try with his friend's girlfriend. But she's not your girlfriend and I wanted to ask...no, not to ask...I wanted to beg you if you...no, it's stupid...I'm sorry." The alligator bent, almost throwing me back to the water.

"No, it's okay Roger. You have feelings for Doris, don't you?" I observed him for a good while, there was no other option.

"Yes...but you..."

"Don't worry about me. Try."

"Really?!"

"Yes, I think you have quite big chances with her."

"Yeah!" Roger nodded enthusiastically, putting me down. "She's a star and I'm too...I mean...I'm more a starlight. But we both are fabulous."

"You do are." I smiled to him. "Could you place your tail in the hole? I'll just get my tools." I waved to Private and Doris to come closer. "Doris, Roger offered his help and with him on our side we'll repair your place in no time. Come Private."

"But..." The younger penguin wanted to oppose, probably to continue his plan, however, this time I sent him a glare. Slowly heading back to the HQ to give Roger and Doris some privacy.

_If he wooed Skipper, I would drown him in that pool...well maybe not, because Roger is a nice guy and he wouldn't do that but still, I wouldn't agree. _

"Why Private?" I stopped halfway and sighed loud. "Why did you do the leak?"

"Me?" Private's eyes widened, he played dumb obviously.

"No, the unicorn. I know it was you. But why?"

"Me and Marlene...we wanted to help you...help you and Skipper."

"And what Skipper has to do with it?!" I shouted loud, too loud. "Uhm, apologies..."

"Marlene and him...you know..."

"No, I don't know. What Marlene and him?"

"They are...well, should, be together."

"Who said so?"

"Marlene."

"She's wrong."

"Why?"

"Because I still have the power of veto."

~Skipper's POV~

"Marlene, I really don't see the point of me standing guard in front of your home. The badgers moved out of the zoo a month ago..." I sighed and tried to go away for the third time.

"No, no! I'm sure someone is hiding in the bushes." The otter made few nervous moves. "Kowalski!"

"Kowalski is hiding in the bushes?!"

"No! A badger, you know they look similar..."  
"...Kowalski looks like a badger to you?"

"No! I mean...yes...a little? Nevermind! Just follow her!" She pushed me towards the zoo entrance.

~Private's POV~

Kowalski was speeding towards Marlene's place. I was next to him, completely lost. When we reached our destination, no one was there.

"I swear I have seen Marlene like a second ago." Kowalski mumbled, looking around.

"So...you like Marlene, K'walski?"

"No! I mean I do like her but not _like_ her. And now I'm not even sure anymore."

"Why?"

"Because she's after Skipper!"

"You're after Skipper."

"What?" He looked at me with eyes wide open.

"Right now. You look for him."

Yeah, true." Kowalski put flippers on his beak, trying to calm down. "Next time, Private, please don't try to help me, at least in the love sphere."

"Why not?"

"Because I have a feeling that thanks to your and Marlene's plan everything is lost...better take care of the leak you did." And with that he slid towards the park.

_In the telly everything seemed more simple. And how on earth I'm supposed to repair a leak alone?!_


End file.
